Friday, February 28, 2014



I was so tired yesterday because I stayed back at the school for the talk of Dr Tariq al Suwaidan. I didn't know or never heard of him before. I discovered about the public lecture when I scrolled down Dr. Maszlee's fb, and the talk happened to be in my faculty. It has been long time ago since my last public lecture that I attended, so I think this is one of the way to gain something beneficial and revive my iman.

The talk supposed to start at 8 pm, but it delayed and started ard 8.45pm. I was so exhausted but still managed to write something and listen to it. But after 1 hour I couldn't stand it anymore since I feel like sleeping in there, so I quickly packed my notebook and stuffs, and headed to the car and back home afterthat.

So today I was late for work because I actually overslept because of my prolong tiredness I guess. That's not good but I don't have much choice. I tried to balance between health and work but still I'm not successful in it. I arrived at faculty around 9 am, and quickly do some admin work: manage to call hotel, email hotel to inquire about wifi for participants, send the forms to office for the dean to sign, and also print some interview questions that have been prepared by my colleague, for us to bring it to the meeting with Department of Statistics.

Lots of thing that I've learned today, especially on how the discrepancy in statistics happened. Indeed as a researcher, we need some clarifications from statisticians. Sometimes the  terms and classification used by economists and statisticians are different and that makes the figure to differ. The statisticians even told us how their challenging work of getting the exact data from the companies, which industries are so reluctant to give data and so on.

The meeting ends around 12.45 since today is Friday so the muslims have to go for friday prayer. Me and K.fara arrived at faculty ard 1.30 and get some drinks at the cafe first because it is a very very hot day. I feel like dehydrated sometimes. Back in office, I was tired and planned to go home early because not much I could do in the office, plus my boss was absent today. And I think today is my first day of getting home early in this month.

I was supposed to go home at 2pm, but then my 'roomate' Thina seek for my help regarding the printer. She needs to print out letters for the companies to request for interview, but then the printer is not working even after changing to the new toner cartridge. I tried to search any function for cleaning the toner but couldn't find it. I then google and read anything related, and I actually search how to change toner for the printer and put the exact model number of the printer.

Just a few seconds and our problem is solved. Because Thina just replaced the toner without removing the strip that cover the ink from leakage inside the cartridge. OMG I was like, Thina this is just small problem. But nevermind, I really glad that I could help her because I know she is really2 helpful for my research. And she's also kind-hearted. She has submitted her first draft for phd. I hope I could be someone like her in the future.

Back at home, I really enjoyed my day off from working. I have set my mind of not working on Friday night. After 5 days of working hard I guess I deserve the rest. After dinner, I have a conversation with my brother in law in regards to my work. And the conversation goes on and on. I did asked him anything that I am not clear enough about the procedure, and is the research and masters are feasible enough for me to do it.

He then said, if you're working for the same project, it is good because it will be easier for you to ask the SV. And he then asked me, how about the data can you get it? And I said yes, because the date will be collected from the statistics department and it will be paid using the grant fund.

He said then you have no problem anymore. You should do it.

After a quite nice and long talk, I am quite confident now to embark my masters journey. I hope I will not exceed 2 years for my masters. Then I could pursue my PhD. Insya Allah.

Earlier tonight, I text my colleague asking whether she's good now because she is MC today and got some medical problem. I told her I am demotivated to work because of uncertainty in getting paid. She then said 'tu lah ore suh kijo hok confirm xsei'.

I think she didn't understand my situation. Its hard to transition from one boss to another. If I stayed in that faculty and work for another boss, my current boss will still rely on me to do the admin work. So its either I quit or I stayed with the current one. If that happen I will not stay mentally healthy because the pressure from different bosses would be enormous, which I dont think I can handle it. The medical tourism project is good but I won't have chance to do papers and thing except the normal RA work.

I know she has lots of experience, she did advice me that 'dale dunia ni xleh kiro minat sajo". Because previously I told her that i am not interested in the medical tourism project. My interest is in economics, to be specific in development economics. I know we shouldn't only concern about our interest, but my previous experience, I did something that I don't have much interest in it, it ended up my result was bad. I'm not blaming it 100% but I want to do something that I am deeply interested and have passion in it. Maybe that is something she doesn't get from me.

I know she gave me advice, but the way she spoke about it sounds very negative. I shouldn't take it.

I need to have target and aim high. I should finish my PhD before reaching 30 years old. Yes, I will. With Allah's will.

What I need to prepare over the weekend: complete my research paper, and prepare research proposal for the application of masters of economics. may Allah eases my way amin..

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Up and down


I feel inferior when my boss asked me to do my masters in economics faculty. With my unqualified result to pursue master in full research mode of study, I think I won't be able to make it. But then my boss said just go and ask for the courtesy of the Dean to allow me to do master, provided I do it under the same project and choose her as co-supervisor then I will be fine. She will support me at the back. Tapi I got another problem, I takut nak jumpa dean. :(( I never have any experience dealing and communication with Dean, lecturers before this, I mean on this kind of matter. Even I was having problem to call them prof/dr at the beginning because I used to call my lecturers with their name. I never know if they are adjunct prof, prof, or just ordinary lecturer since they always tell the students to call them by names only.

I'm still in the dilemma since my interest is in development economics. I really wanna study it but if I have no choice I will have to study this competition issues.

The pressure of insecure job keeps on popping out in my mind, I think my mind doesn't stop working. I even got headache this evening, usually its because I didn't eat but this evening I ate mee goreng and the headache doesn't goes off. Kepala berdenyut2 nak reply email rejection from the company. Haish.. I need more perseverance to handle this.

In the morning, not much that I do. I just edit the letter and print it out and scan it back because I want it to have letterhead. That's for the invitation to the seminar. I called the hotel to book and confirm the booking, I called the hospitals to ask them for update, reply email for purchase equipment and etc. Then in afternoon I went to PPUm to pass the questionnaires survey to the doctors and management there. hope we can get as many as we can from there.

Then when I was in PPUM, I got email from UNSW. That's for my masters degree in Banking. It is being accepted! I got the offer letter already. Right now when I feel so pressured, I just hope I can fly back to Australia and enjoy my study there. This time I promise myself I will do much much much better than my degree, and I will work and publish papers before coming back to Malaysia. I'm targeting to work there first before coming back for good.

I just hope mara will grant me the loan or scholarship or whatever. I desperately in need of that. Allahu musta'an.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Development studies


Tonight I was supposed to do my journal article, but I don't have mood to do write up. I know we shouldn't rely on our mood to do something but it's just I have realized that I couldn't do write up unless I complete the table showing the dimensions of my analysis. It would be easier for me to refer to the table and do writing based on that.
Why I didn't do it now? Because my laptop couldn't install NVIVO software and I have to refer to it when I wanna create the summary table of my analysis, that's why I need to do it on the office's computer.

Then after I closed all my tabs of writing-related-apps, I then open the link that I shared on my facebook page. I always share anything that captures my attention on my facebook so that I could read it later. After I read it for awhile, I was shocked to see the photos of the state of deprivation, here in KL. It is in Setapak, very close to where I am staying now. It really looks similar to the one in Slumdog Millionaire - all those garbage, with polluted river and very dirty and soiled environment.

I didn't expect we still have those people who are in extreme poverty and they can do nothing about it. No education, no proper health care, no proper sanitary. These are the basic human right that everyone of us deserves. The worst is that they don't even have IC. Allah.

I am deeply saddened looking at the photos of the kids. If they didn't go out from the situation, they will stay in the poverty cycle for generations. They wouldn't be able to come out of it.Only education could help them, something which they don't have access to since they don't have IC.

Allahu musta'an. That's all I could say. Starting from today, I am determined to do studies about this. I want to contribute my best to change what they are now. Allah, cukupkan masa ku untuk semua ini.


My situation coincides with what I read on the blog tonight. Today I called the faculty of economics to ask them about doing masters in development studies. My interest has always been in development studies. I took the  course when I was in my third year and i think it is very challenging field and interesting as well to study of the people, instead study of their business.

After talking to the person in charge, I am sure of myself that I would apply for it when the application for the program is open. It's in mix-mode study, 16 credit hours of classes and 40 credit hours just for the research. The 40 credit hours of research is everything about arguments, presentations and discussions. That is what development studies all about.

In economics, every pro must have the con. So arguments about an issue will always be the core business in economics.

Back to story, I just hope I will grow my interest deeper in this field and contribute to my beloved nation, one day insya Allah. Let's just pray I will get accepted to the school and study deeply on this matter so I could change them. amin


Saturday, February 22, 2014

Oh my paper!


I just finished writing 2 dimensions of my analysis in the 'results' section of the paper. I still have 3 more dimensions to write, plus an introduction and discussion and conclusion sections of the paper.

After working for almost all day, I only managed to write few pages of the analysis. Yes, it's hard for me to focus on writing.

I targeted to finish everything by today but it doesn't seem feasible for me. I know I have to work faster, but I think I am slowly learning towards it. My boss keeps on pushing me to work faster, but I think he may need to consider my background as well. I have never write any thesis or learn any research methodology before this. So, I have zero knowledge about all this research matters.

Whatever it is, jom layan this song. One of my fav back during my school time. I even bought the cassette for this album. Back in 2005 we don't have internet connection at home. So everything especially nashid songs we relied on cassette and radio to listen to it.

Layannn.. Tomorrow will be going to OU to enjoy our remaining weekend before start a new week. I planned to buy a pair of shoes and maybe a perfume. I have 3 bottles of it but the temptation of 25% off from bodyshop is irresistible. Haiyo botak kepala.

Friday, February 21, 2014



Yesterday I called the Management Office with regards to my appointment as official RA for ERGS project. Since ERGS is from Ministry of Higher Education, so they need graduate research assistant to work for the project. And sadly I am not a graduate student and can't be officially appointed.

This insecurity of my job makes me sick and feels like going back to study soon, I mean real soon. I really wanted to do my masters in business school, but then the requirement of 3 years working experience seems couldn't be compromised. It seems impossible for me to do MBA in UM since I just have few months of working experience.

And to work with another boss is impossible too, since my current boss will ask me to do her work. Working for 2 different person is not good, not only you have lots of work but also different instructions from bosses. So for me, it's either work for my current boss or just 'blah' from there. To start applying for job in private sector doesn't appeal much to me. I think I'm happy with the research life and this is the only pathway for me to become a lecturer.


I wrote in the previous post that I have apply for masters programme in my university. I got reply from them that I'm not advised to do masters of commerce because it will be overlap from my prior major during undergraduate unless I want to pursue in another specialisation. They suggested me to do masters in finance or financial analysis.

Among the reasons I wanted to go back to Australia, mainly because of the system. I'm really sick with the system here, lots of paper involve, eveything must be signed and approved, yada yada. In fact for application overseas what you need is just a click and its all within your fingertip. Anything you don't really understand, just email them. I did email them to the general email and within 24 hours I think I got reply from the specific person in charge handling my case.

I just give them my student number and they can check my previous record of study (results, major, subjects and everything) within a minute. One good thing about western system, they do reply email if you have any inquiry and the response is pretty fast (within 24 hours) or sometimes just within few hours or less. I'm so impressed given what I have undergone in our university here is very different. I applied for the masters programme free of charge (because I emailed them) and then within 3 days I got reply from them:

Dear Izzah

Thank you for applying to the Australian School of Business at UNSW and to the program 8404/8417  Master of Commerce  Banking/Finance.  I am unsure if you are aware that there are programs designed for furthering studies for those who already have a major in Finance.

We have assessed your entry for the program above and this has been approved based on our entry requirements for the program and sent back to UNSW Admissions for processing.
Please note that correspondence from UNSW Admissions may take 1 to 2 weeks during peak admissions times. 
After initial assessment of your application, we wondered if you had considered 8413 Master of Financial Analysis or 8406 Master of Finance, as it would appear that with your current background you may find this program to be a better fit to build on your prior academic knowledge.

We would like your feedback on whether you wish to remain in your first choice of program or, after reviewing the link below would be happy to change your preference to 8413 Master of Financial Analysis or 8406 Master of Finance instead.

Please use the link below and click on the relevant program to view the outline and entry criteria.  Further information on the program and its structure can also be obtained from our UNSW Online Handbook which you can link to after reviewing the following :

If you decide that you would like to be considered for the alternative programs above, please send an email

Kind Regards


I then reply them back

Dear Emma, 
Thank you for your reply, as with my prior academic knowledge and based on my major in first degree, I do not have much intention for specialisation in finance/financial analysis. 
However, I am quite interested in pursuing in Economics major. May I know if I could change my preference to Masters of Economics?
And if I were to enrol into Masters of Economics, what is the chance that I could pursue Phd after completing masters degree?
Thank you for your time.

Warm regards,
Izzah Mohammad

The next day I got reply from the specific person

Dear Izzah
Thank you for your email.  We will check with the Program Director in Economics of your request.
Kind regards
Chris Kelly
ASB PGRD Admissions


All I can say is that they really do their work efficiently. I inquired about the requirements for masters programme by research. The next day I got reply with full of information in an email - with attachments and everything. usually everything is on the web, it is just that I didn't search thoroughly.

This is the reply:

Thank you for your interest in a research degree at the Australian School of Business, UNSW.  Please find in the attached documents some information on how to apply for a research degree. 

You can find the same information on our web page at:

All potential applicants are required to send an expression of interest (EOI) to the Australian School of Business Research Office before formally applying for admission to the university. 

On the basis of the EOI, applicants may be invited to submit a formal application for admission.

As outlined in the document, please send the completed EOI questionnaire form and the required documents to me by return email.  (It is strongly recommended that International students provide a GMAT or GRE score.)

Step 1: Check that you meet the minimum academic entry requirements

PhD: The minimum academic entry requirement for the PhD is:

  • A four year undergraduate degree with honours class IIA or better in a related discipline*
  • A strong research Master’s degree in a related discipline*; OR
  • An equivalent academic qualification or level of experience

MPhil: The minimum academic entry requirement for the MPhil is:

  • A coursework Master’s degree in a related discipline* with an overall grade of Distinction (75 per cent) or better
  • A four year undergraduate degree (preferably with honours); OR
  • An equivalent academic qualification or level of experience
How to submit an EOI
Email the Australian School of Business Research Office with the following information:
1.     A completed EOI questionnaire:
2.     A Research Proposal *
3.     Resume/Curriculum Vitae
4.     Academic transcripts for all previous degrees (at this stage it is not necessary to provide certified copies)
5.     Two recommendation letters or referee reports ( these are required even if not applying for a scholarship)
6.     It is strongly recommended that applicants to the PhD program (who have not completed an undergraduate degree in Australia or New Zealand
within 18 months of applying) take the GMAT or GRE and provide their scores with the EOI. Requirements for various Schools are as follows:

Banking and Finance
Information Systems
Risk and Actuarial
Taxation and Business Law

* Research Proposal

PhD applicants
At UNSW and other Australian universities, it is standard practice to ask applicants to submit a research proposal. The research proposal is used by the School to determine whether it is possible to provide adequate supervision and resources to support your research.

If you are accepted into the program, the topic may be reviewed or refined during the course of your enrolment. The proposal is also used to assess your capacity to undertake research. It should demonstrate:

  • Clear aims and objectives
  • Some consideration of method
  • A good command of the English language
  • That you are capable of independent and critical thinking
Your research proposal should be 3-7 pages in length and include:
  • A discussion of the issues you would like to explore (why it is important and interesting)
  • Background literature supporting your project
  • An explanation of the way your project would significantly add to the understanding of the topic
  • A bibliography of your background literature
MPhil applicantsMPhil applicants may submit a brief research proposal which indicates their area of interest.

Please note: Your proposal may be subjected to Turn it In to check for plagiarism issues.
UNSW has a zero tolerance policy on plagiarism

More information on our postgraduate research programs (PhD and MPhil) can be found in the Program Guide 2013 at:

Information on applying for scholarships is available at:

Please make sure you take note of scholarship application closing dates. Please note: It is very competitive to get a scholarship. There are no extensions to the application deadline.

**Please note even if you answer yes to applying for a scholarship on the EOI, you will  still need to complete a separate scholarship form.

If after reading through this information, you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

Note:  This is just a preliminary application. Once you have satisfied the university's minimum requirements, you will then be asked to make a formal application to study in our postgraduate program. Please do not contact the staff in the school about potential supervision. You will be assigned a supervisor in your area of interest once you are admitted.

Kind regards,
Jenny Danon


Small things make the change for the big thing. Because of this 'small' thing, it makes me wanna go back to Australia soon, very soon. Dah fed up dengan orang office tak angkat phone, email lagi la x reply, HARAMMMM MMMM je nak reply.. website x maintain, semua info takdak!

Kalau call office UNSW, even on saturday still ada orang angkat and line tak pernah pulak engage je.

That's the different in our system compared to western. If we say we're way behind the others in the world university ranking, look at the system and we would know why!


Monday, February 17, 2014

Second interview


After all the hassles of phone calls to the hospitals, I did receive positive reply - they agree to be interviewed. But it is of short notice. Really.

The interviewee agreed to be interviewed but then it is tomorrow! Which means 9 hours from now. I was really tired today. Lots of things need to settle (tapi tak settle pun) and then when he said just come tomorrow. Without hesitation I said yes, sure we'll come. The time is determined by him - 9 oclock in the morning.

I then whatsapp my team mate, informing her about the interview. My team mate says that she need to send her daughter to nursery and maybe a bit late for the interview. OMG. I can't believe that I'm going to face the interview alone. Before this I was just an assistant. I din't expect that I need to study this topic in depth.

That was before I know about in-depth interview. It requires you to have knowledge about the topics and you know how to tackle the interviewee and ask them more when they say something. It is not as straight-forward as questionnaires. The answer from interviewee is open-ended and the next question is lead by the interviewer.

That is the most challenging part of in-depth interview. Because if you don't know how to lead the conversation, it may goes on and on to other topics which might not relevant to the research topics and objectives.You might end up having 2 hours of interview with no points relevant to the topic.

Just now I feel confident enough to face the interviewee. He's the head of public relation department in one of reputable government hospital in KL. Initially I was relieved when my boss said she will go to the interview with me but then my boss has other commitment and couldn't make it. Sobs.. Sometimes I feel not confident enough for the interview.

O Allah, ease my day tomorrow.

I need to get enough rest to face hectic day tomorrow.

I have to handle admin stuffs for 6 different grants/projects. And do research for 2 projects, plus my own paper that I am currently writing, and I am organizing seminar for 30 people on March 17, so I need to invite them, prepare letter for permission of organizing seminar, arrange for the guests transport - since they're coming from Penang, and other universities, pay claims for them, book hotel, prepare booklets and everything for the seminar.

If total up the amount of the 6 grants it could worth half of million ringgit. It's quite hectic to manage all those and I need to learn to manage things more effectively. Lots of bureaucracy and filing and forms and letters before everything could be approved. Usually an RA only manage 1 project, do research based on that project and do admin work for that sole project.

It's not easy but I believe there is hikmah in everything. With difficulties come opportunities, with difficulties come easiness. Just trust that Izzah!

p/s; the more hectic my life is, the more frequent I will keep my update here. Love to write things here, as not many people read it and for my open-secret-diary thing that I will treasure it soon when I'm up there. insya Allah peduli dengan grammar tunggang langgang, as long as I understand. hehe

Saturday, February 15, 2014



When I finished my undergraduate, I have no plan of continuing to higher level of education. I choose to work instead.

My ambition and dream have always be a lecturer. But in order to be that, I need to have completed my doctoral degree. Working for my ex-boss for 4 months gives me a lot of exposure to the lecturer's life. It seems not quite easy but I think quite relaxing if you already in higher level, such as a Professor. I feel more and more inspired to be one.

To be in that position is not easy. It costs me more and more of sleepless night, no more weekends and more of stayback and work in the office. On average I will be home around 6@7 pm, I am not brave enough to go back later than that since I have no access card to the main door of the office, plus I am scared of the road and darkness of the night.

Initially I planned to work for 2 years as research assistant and write as many papers as I could. But then after I am a bit frustrated with the work that I could not be officially appointed, I tried to google for few universities around UK to apply for. But somehow i didn't match the qualification stated there. Because of that, I decided to apply for unsw, which is my former university. A lot easier to apply since I have already studied there before, they know my English level so I don't need to go through any English test anymore. Much better than UK. After all, I'm still hoping and aiming for Uk, at least for my PhD.

Then I emailed the school to ask for closing date for application to UNSW, but they give me offer of application fees being waived. I am not quite sure why they give me fee waiver, is it because I was UNSW's student before? Maybe yes.. Without the fee waiver, an application would cost me AUD50=RM150++.. That's quite expensive.

For now, let's hope for the best. I applied for mara for the loan. If I could get mara, I won't be hesitate to stay here since the work is too tense and I feel pressured of studying for Masters degree. MBA seems quite impossible with too much hassle and ridiculous requirement. They even ask for 3 years of work experience before I can apply for MBA. Not that I am underestimating the course, but the students' quality is too bad, from my experience dealing with their exam papers. It is not up to the standard of masters student that I was expecting. So what's the point of putting higher requirement when the students' quality is not up to the standard?

I am so sad to think I could not pursue my masters in Um because I already fall in love with my working space, my work and I want to be able to study and work at the same time. I think UM is the best place to do research because it has a good name globally, and I love the environment of UM. Bak kata student UM, Once UM, always UM. haha I guess I just be part of it.

I hope I can do better for my masters. I applied for specialisation in banking, and also economics and finance but it is for different semesters.

I hope I could pursue it in July semester. By December next year I should be able to pass everything and come back home. Or maybe I should work harder and apply for working in Aussie? That would be wonderful.

I should start writing my PhD proposal later when I start off my masters degree. I will find any gap of the study and do my research on it. Yes, I should.

Hoping for the best to finish my paper tomorrow. Let's hope that I will... insya Allah


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Getting more and more


I started off my day with email from my ex-boss or my co-writer for the paper that I'm currently working on. He was asking the update of the paper and whether I could finish it off in 2 weeks time. Suddenly I feel so pressured because of the email. I thought I could avoid him since he is away from the office but I was wrong since he could email me =(((..

I feel pressured that I even cried in the office since I did not yet finish the paper. Currently I am writing the research methodology, but I told him that I'm putting the analysis part of the paper. How I wish writing academic paper is as easy as writing blog. How I wish.. Sometimes I just doubted myself if I have chose the wrong field for myself to develop. But then I keep on thinking what my ex-boss said about me.

He said that I have the potential to excel in this field, which is academic field. I am still learning to love what I do. Sometimes I feel good about research, but then when I face difficulties I feel like quitting everything at that moment.

Everyday is a new challenge for me. Today I have lots of work to be settled (contact hospitals for interview, arrange for payment to supplier, make claims for travel, apply to buy equipment, get the dean's sign, etc etc.) but then because of the email, I couldn't focus on my work. I always being interrupted by the administration work that I have to do and the noisy sound from the construction site in front of the school. I really can't focus on my research job.

Then in the afternoon, my boss asked me to send her to PJ to pick up her car from service. We went out for lunch, of course she paid it for me and then we went to the service centre. After coming back from there, I didn't go to the office because I have promised my friends to get them out because I was supposed to go lunch with them but I went with my boss. So then we went to Gloria Jeans coffee to have some chilling moment and enjoy our time plus to release the stress that is mounting up.

Sometimes this research makes me hard to smile because my brain couldn't stop working and thinking about it. Because it is something unsettled, so that's why I think my brain keep on working on it.

I always forget about little things, sometimes the feeling of forgotten everything is driving me crazy. Actually I have locked the door, or switched the aircond off but I am doubting myself whether I did all those thing or not. Today I was home early because I drive my brother's car to the office and to avoid traffic jam I have to go home early. After getting done with my shower and prayer, I was 'was-was' if I have lock the door or not. Because of that, I grab my helmet and have a ride to UM just to check that small thing.

Sometimes I feel tired because of it. And I wonder if my friends who are working in the private sectors having same problem like me. I am wonder.. I just wonder.

When my boss said, she want me to get some literature review, I offer myself to write the paper. Because I wanted to learn from her, the style she's using to start up with the writing. Though I am writing the paper right now, but it's of different field and different person. So, I guess the style must be different. Something that I should learn to broaden my knowledge and skills, at the same time improving my resume later when the paper got published.

I really hope to finish this one as fast as possible, with Allah's will.

Just now I feel so pressured, but I think if I write down about it, I would feel better and less pressured.

So, let's get moving, girl!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Sydney and life


I always listen to songs to boost up my mood. I love listening to songs that I love. Usually I start off my days with a few songs or sometimes repeatedly listen to the same song. Yeah, somehow it really helps to make me happy with those fast-paced songs. I feel energetic and 'wake up' from my sleep.

Tonight, I listen to this one song by Iwan (zaman dia laghoo).. Not only in the morning, I listen to youtube most of the time before I do my work- to be exact before I start my writing.. and then I just click the song next to the video on Youtube. This is dangdut song by MasIdayu. It reminds me of one of my good friend back in Australia. I really miss our times and feel like crying sometimes. Life in Malaysia is not as good as in Australia. I just hope I could back there again.

Back to story, this friend of mine is really a bright student, always study consistently and enjoyed watching Asian dramas so much. But one thing that I respect about her, she always put others before herself. She always cook something nice for us. I love the pancakes, the nasi tomato, and other food that she made. She's really a good cook. I hope she'll meet a good guy to take care of her.

Sometimes we do have 'terasa' hati but it makes our bond stronger. Why the song reminds me of her? Because she will always played the song loudly on the earphone while studying and doing the work. I think she enjoyed that way because its like she is in her own world without any external sound that might interrupt her..

I really miss our times studying, living, travelling, eating, cooking, shopping, and do everything together on that small apartment of Forsyth Street. I think the apartment is less that 600 sq ft but we love it. Small but precious. We celebrated our birthdays together. The apartment is incredibly small but we fit in 6 people inside there, just for the sake of cheaper rent rate and also due to some other reasons.

Today I got back from work around 6.45pm and now I'm here in front of laptop, trying to write something even if it is not much that I could write tonight, but I hope I can say something to myself that I have put enough effort to make sure I could get my work published before end of this month.

Writing has never been easy. And life doesn't promise you good but I believe Allah doesn't ask you for the result but how much you put in your effort in it. I just leave everything to Him after I have work hard and put my full effort in making it. Of course I can do nothing without Him at first.

Let's hope for the best. Cheers for the uncertain future and enjoy current life! Hoping to publish in ISI journal Tier 1 soon!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014



Last weekend, I was down with fever and backpain for the whole 4 days of long weekend (CNY Hols). It waas really horrible since this is second time I feel sick after I started working last September. 4 days of sleeping and doing nothing at all. I just stayed at home with no single outing at all. My sis and I had planned lots of thing but we couldn't do it since I was sick.

I guesss after working too hard for the past week, that's the cost that I have to bear.

Last week, I tried to change my routine from working after isya', to sleeping and then wake up and work in the middle of the night. I did that during my SPM time and it was okay. I am so much fresher at midnight. I never fell sick because of it. But now maybe I've ageing so I guess that's the reason why I become sick because of my not-so-good sleep pattern. On Thursday, I woke up in the midnight and do some work, until about 6 am in the morning and subuh. I planned to sleep around 1 hour before work but I couldn't make it. So I went off for work with insufficient sleep. That night I was down with fever.

Now I still have runny nose but I don't care about it. I just take the pills whenever I remember about it. I'm a type of person who not really health conscious but when I feel sick I feel really bad about it and just wanna recover as soonest as possible.

This week has not been really good for me. Being sick, I can't do the work properly. Especially when I need to focus my ears to the interviews for transcribing purpose. It's a bit boring, I'd rather go for soo many interviews than transcribing it.

Other than that, I have a submission for my literature review, methods, results and introduction part of my zoo paper. I just copy and paste whatever I have from the journals on my MS-word without synthesizing and paraphrasing it yet. This is just LR, I haven't done anything on results part. I hope I can work on it on friday and saturday.

Later on Sunday I'm planning to go out somewhere, just to relax myself a bit from hectic and boring life of working. I think I need something relaxing but at the same time outdoor to prevent my skin from too much exposed in air-conditioned room.

Back to the story, my boss asked me to collect sample, which means going for in-depth interviews with doctors in Singapore and Bangkok for comparison study between these three countries.

Unfortunately after confirming with the university management, RA is not allowed to travel overseas under the grant. I was like, really3 frustrated. Because this would be my chance to gain more experience on interviewing and collecting sample from other countries. Plus I could go travel to my neighboring countries for the first time. I only managed to transit 2 times in Changi Airport but I didn't go to the city yet.

Sounds easy for the researcher to travel, but there's a lot of bureaucracy behind it. Lots of documents need to be filled up, and in the process you will need many signatures from those HOD to sign the forms. All those processes are really trivial because it takes so much time and makes me sick.

 So here I am, writing down my frustration. I just hope I can travel around the world without thinking about work, one day insya Allah.