I have never expect I would be in the academic field before.
I have a strong background in education field, as both of my parents were former teacher, 3 of my sisters are teachers and another 1 going to be a lecturer. Before graduating, I was expecting to work in a private company where I would not practice my economics side, but rather my finance major.
I seek position in lots of companies in banking and finance industry, but to no luck. I have been to many interviews and done my best but I didnt get any of the job.
My interest has always been in economics though it is REAL hard to score it in exam, because there is no black and white areas but there is always grey areas in economics. But, it is quite hard to find a job within the economics scope. Maybe that is why I choose to apply jobs in finance and banking sector instead.
After several months of jobless life, Allah has grant me the best job indeed, not the one that I want but the one that I need the most. The experience of being a teacher for three months has deepen my interest in education field, cause I love to teach but I always think my result is not good enough to apply for a lecturer position.
Why I didn't choose to become a teacher? That is the question that need to be answered in another blog post.
I think I am quite workaholic for now. Sometimes I feel like I have no life since I always think about work and my research for almost 24/7. My brain keep on thinking non-stop about the research.
But I believe in 'no pain no gain'.. Life is all about choosing. It is either you choose to enjoy first and suffer later or suffer now and enjoy later. For me I would choose the latter so I can relax in my golden age.
I also believe that I have to work hard from now on since I have no commitment currently. Later when I have my own family, I would slow down a bit so that I can have some time for my family. I respect those who afford to become a housewife, but for now I am not planning into it. I have my own ambition and dreams which I have to achieve it.
Currently, I am doing analysis of essays submitted by the students. That is my project with my boss. It is basically qualitative study for experience of the students in the zoo. It sounds easy but the reality it is not. You need to read carefully and go deep into the writer's thinking before you can categorise it according to the theory that you have chose.
There are 37 participants altogether with the essays ranging from 1000-2000 words in length for each. It takes me around 30 minutes to finish 1 essay. On average I can finish 8 essays per day since I have some other jobs that I need to fulfill besides the analysis.
I will write my journey in research in this blog. Insya Allah
Among the challenges that I faced up until today:
#1: finding the right theory for my analysis
#2: once the analysis part started, you can easily get confuse with the theory and categorisation
#3: confuse and confuse, that is what I am facing right now
But my boss said, just trust yourself. Because as I am doing the analysis alone for now, I need to have the courage to trust myself. He can only guide me through but not doing the analysis with me. So, I need to learn to be more confident and rely on myself instead of others.
I have never expect the research to be this hard. But I believe I can do it. I will do it. I will be able to publish it ASAP.
I am pushing myself off the limit, and trying to focus to the analysis. Fast working pace is not something that I need to try, but I really need to work on.
Today my boss reminds me that I need to aim high. Always aim high. Insya Allah.
My short term dream is to publish at least 5 papers before I start my master degree journey.
and in the long term, I dream to be the editor of top journals -- the highest achievement in the lecturer's career. Plus I want to contribute to the society as much as I contribute the knowledge to the academic world.
may Allah eases the journey. Amin.
I will keep updating, though I am not really sure if this blog has a reader.