Week 4

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

The time moves so fast that I don't even realize that I am already in my week 4 of masters!

With the workload and at the same time study load, I really have no time to wander and enjoy my weekends.. I don't even have time to study.. I have a very short of time since I can't be studying during my working hours.

The urge to study and do my assignment is killing me now. I already have 2 assignments that is due on next week, next day after Raya Haji break, and the other is on next week after. Right now, I am still studying the material for Week 2. And doing the slides for presentation this Tuesday. The bad thing about the assignment is, I don't even understand the content of the paper I was assigned to present. This is terribly bad. I feel useless. I tried to divert my attention from the paper by studying the other subject. At least I can start reading the paper again with fresh mind. I hope so.

The syllabus for both subjects is quite dense and it keeps me running to catch up the content of the study. The poverty and distribution subject doesn't take much of my time compared to the Development Theory and Practice by my handsome professor. Though it's hard but i know I will nail it. I won't give up until I have put my best effort which I know I haven't yet.

I pray to Allah to ease my studies. I wanna join the NGO so badly but I got contraints in terms of transport and time. I hope I can contribute to the society someday..

With Allah's willings of course. insya-Allah.

Betulkan niat Izzah.. insya Allah everything will be alright..

Welcoming the second degree!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I am now officially a full-time master student and research assistant/administrator/secretary/personal assistant. You name it all. I am now a multi-function research assistant with lots of workload. 

But it gives me experience that others may not have it. I learned a lot to manage grants, rules and regulations, how to deal with officers. The tasks sometime sounds simple, but it is really fussy to do it, it takes much of my time doing the admin work than my research. I know admin work won't take me anywhere, but I sort of like it since it doesn't take long before the task is settled. It's totally different with research. The process takes 1-2 years minimum, doesn't even take into account the writing part. I am still learning to be a good writer, cause I know writing is something that you can practice to make it perfect. It's just a matter of time.

Just finished 1st week of classes. For this semester, I have enrolled 2 subjects: 1 core and 1 elective subject.- Development Theory and Practice and Poverty and Distribution. The course really critical in a sense that it makes students think and argue a lot about the issues in development. And I wonder why most of Malaysians do not have intention to further in development studies. I wish I can do my PhD in Oxford and do case study in one of the Sub-Saharan African countries. It sounds simple yet it's really challenging since you're not deal with any organism, but human. Human is a very complex creature of Allah. They can interact with one another, they can change the info, they can cheat and think about the consequence/reasons for everthing. So for researchers, in order for the research not to have biased result, they usually do data collection by doing games so that they can actually manipulate the sample and lessen the interference.

Back to my study, I just finished first week of masters, but the tense is getting harder. The workload, the study and all those reading lists make me sick by just looking at it. 5 pages of long list of journal article is not much, right? Assignments, presentations, essays, response papers, term papers, etc. are not much. I just need to stop thinking about others and start to do my work. I know I can do this, I can score and I can manage it well. It's just a matter of time management - which I am still learning to handle it. 

But I am grateful that Allah has put me in this way, He makes my path smooth at the moment. Although the pressure is there, but I believe I can still handle it. I pray to Allah to make me persevere this challenge up till the end and graduated with Distinction. How I wish 2 years can fly just like that.

As my update is positively related to how busy I am, I will update this blog more frequent I think since I will be getting busier.

Currently, there is 1 paper in my pipeline (for my work) and besides the coursework that I need to fulfill, I also have to think about the other component of my masters which is dissertation part. I need to figure out my preferred supervisor, my areas of research and what I wanna do by the end of semester.

14 weeks sound not too long!

Have a nice weekend everyone. Even I know no one is reading this blog, but who cares.. I just wanna express myself in my own way, as for my future reference and I wish I could look back at my posts and say, I DID IT!!

insya Allah..

Mix feeling

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

This week was full of surprises and hectic as well.

I was so busy this week, with the admin stuffs that need to settle before I went to Penang on Tuesday and Wednesday. After coming back from Penang, I was so stressed out with the workload. Going out for fieldwork is not preferable when you have tonnes of other work that need to be settled.

For the Penang Port visit, we managed to nail it even without the boss. Now I know the hikmah of always going out and accompany the boss for the meeting. I got to expose myself to different fields and learn how to talk to different people in different areas, through the researches that we are currently doing.

I've experienced lots of interview sessions, be it with government agency or private companies. I can see myself changing and transforming to a better ones. I am more confident of asking or interrupting the person, just to ask for the questions. Thanks to le boss who always give me opportunity and seek for my questions for every discussion.

Among the interviews that I have been are with: 2 depots companies in Port Klang, Port Klang Authority, HUSM, Hospital Pakar Al-Islam, PPUM, Northport and the latest one is Penang Port. The experience helped me a lot during the interviews. I can proudly say that I was satisfied with the interview. The interviewee thought that I was the lecturer, when in fact I was just an assistant.

***

Last night I was so stressed out knowing that I need to contact the ports and companies in Netherland, France and Belgium for the Europe trip in this coming September. My boss really loves to give me these kind of task. I am fine with the sending fax, email or letter, but not to follow them up. I can be so stress doing that. Calling people is my last-resort. I just hate it when they didn't answer, or they just drop my call. It happens all the time. My experience of contacting the companies for seminar, or for the interviews, they don't really entertain the researcher. Maybe they just don't see the benefits of research to them.

What I really need now is just a block of time and space so that I can peacefully focus on my research project. i just so in need of time. I can do all the admin work, provided I have enough time for my research part.
I just pray that I will be more efficient and will be granted the patience to handle all these.

I just can't wait to have the title. Today I got an email from one of the co-researcher from unirazak.. He called me as Dr. Izzah. I just don't know how to say but it gives me such the comfort that I need. I know I can do it and will get the title soon. insya Allah

Unbearable

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

I don't know why my stress level is so high tonight. I can feel the butterflies non-stop flying inside. I just don't like it. My heart beats faster than usual and I wonder if my blood pressure is high currently. Blogging is one of my own way to cool down myself. I feel so much relieved after I write something on the blog and I hope no one is reading this.

I am so stress after today's conversation with le boss. My boss told me that she and the other RA are going international, and when is my turn to go for international level. With the current burden of work, plus that statement, I feel so depressed and sad at the same time. I need to publish my work, but I don't have much time to write since my writing speed is so slow. I need more solid time frame to focus and do my writing. I can't do writing in the office. :(( I need a peaceful and privacy to do my writing, which I usually do in the midnight.

Sometimes I just can't wait to finish the work and go off for 1 month holiday. I miss the time where I used to have so much free time. I just wanna drop off eveything and go for holiday.

How I wish I could make the time move faster, at the same time I wanna have 40 hours time per day, so i could handle everything.. :(( I know it's the matter of how you manage everything, but I know my limit. The current burden is unbearable, at least for me.

Allah.. time is the biggest constraint that I have as of now.

I can't imagine how my life looks like in 10 years time.

I just pray that Allah will grant me the patience to handle the work, plus the incoming masters studies in september.. may Allah eases everything.

I should update my CV of what I am doing now so later I feel so much at ease, knowing I didn't waste my time by being an RA.

Being in the pathway to be an academician, is a very challenging way and yet slow moving to the top.

Just be patient for another 2 years and I will finish everything off before pursuing Phd in UK. that's my target. Yes. I will get it before my age turns to 30.

Sometimes I feel like quitting but I know I can't, I love to teach and that is the only reason why I am still working to be an academician. I've been working for almost 9 months now and I know the beginning is always the hardest part of everything. I know I am still in the beginning year of my career, so just bear with it.

I need more pull and push factor to get me to the top, as soon as possible. I know that I can do this. It's just a matter of time.

Frustration

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

This is not the first time. Hati ku terluka..

Hati ni sedih sangat sebab someone close to my heart did this to me. It hurts me, seeing that person online in FB using mobile when in fact she told me the 3g credit has run out so we can't chat on whatsapp. For your information, whatsapp doesn't consume much data, not as much as facebook, not as much as you uploading the picture to FB.

Weekend is the time I usually spend to think about my relationship with other people. On normal days i may not have much time to catch up with the people that I love, and same goes to other people. Today, I'm the one who initiated the conversation so maybe I did it in wrong time. my bad.

I'm the type of person that replying sms/inbox/whatsapp as soon as I see it. Unless it needs long explanation or I need to write long answer, ONLY then I won't reply immediately. But usually I won't be telling people that I am busy so I need to cut off the conversation. Very rare I did that. It only takes a few seconds to reply whatsapp.. Just to catch up a few thing, bukannya lama pun.. Sedih.. seriously sedih.

People change, I know that. Kawan baik masa sekolah tak semestinya kekal hingga ke akhir hayat. Bila masuk U lain-lain semua buat hal sendiri jer. Mula2 contact jugak tapi bila asik kita jer yang contact, malas dah.. I'd rather keep silent and enjoy the life.

Now I'm listening to Roman Cinta by Mojo. Sedih gak lagu nih..layan dengan mood yang tak berapa sihat.

I'm currently doing literature review for land public transport project. Project museum and biomass hold dulu. Next week will be attending my best friend's wedding in Kampar, Perak and the week after will be having weekend getaway to Jb and Singapore. May Allah ease everything.

Stay cool and this is not the end of the world.

The final 100 meters

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Just a quick update on my research journey.. After all the hurdles and hardship that I went through in producing my first journal article, tomorrow my boss will finalise everything before the final check up from another co-author a.k.a professor from UUM, so this will be called our first draft that will be sent to the editor.

I just hope everything will go as planned. aamin According to my boss, the paper is a guaranteed publication. Let's pray it will get accepted soon.

It took me awhile to understand this world of academician. Until now, I am still learning about the publications, the journals and how they work. I was quite diverging from my field of study. I studied economics and finance during my undergraduate years, but then working in the tourism field under the tourism scholar in UM. Among the topics that I did research mainly about wildlife tourism, zoo tourism, spiritual tourism, accessible tourism and other tourism stuffs.

After 4 months working in the field of tourism, recognizing the high impact journals in tourism, I then moved to another supervisor. She is the professor of supply chain and anything relates to it. I have to start learning the journals again. I need to know which one is high-ranked journals and start from scratch again. I just hope I can survive in this world of academics. Amin

11 ways to set yourself up for success

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

i think this post from Australian Business Insider is worth to be shared here, for my own future reference.

I pray to Allah may the research journey will be smooth and move as it was planned. Everyday is like a new challenge for me. I was literally lost for my own project since I didn't understand much of the project. I wasn't sure what should I do for the project. I am now in the midst of doing literature review for the transport policy related to the topics.

I find it quite hard to write journal article without anyn guidance from my supervisor. I just hoping I could get minimum 10 articles reviewed done by end of this week. At least I feel much better and could be more focused in doing other tasks.

This post is dedicated specifically to myself and all the readers, especially if you are in early 20s. I am still learning to manage my time more efficiently and reduce my time with phones and facebook. So here the post is to remind myself, not to waste my time too much with the smartphone and internet.

Izzah, please be more matured and be a better person in terms of time management and more focused in your work! I am still learning and will continue to learn ad become a better person day by day..

****

If you’re in your early 20s, Agarwal says you should…

1. Learn to manage and balance your time.

Without the structure of school, it’s up to you to figure how to organise your day. Since you’ll be busy laying the foundation for your career, investing in your romantic life, and trying to have time left over for yourself, you’ll need to figure out how to prioritise and juggle competing demands. Agarwal recommends experimenting with different approaches until you’ve mastered the art of time management.

2. Put down your smartphone.

This generation grew up with social media, and many are probably too attached to their smartphones. Realise that someone liking your photo on Facebook or upvoting your post on Reddit isn’t as important as what’s going on around you. If you’re living in the moment, you can actually learn something, listen better, and contribute to the conversation.

3. Travel as much as you can.

As Agarwal puts it, when you’re in your early 20s, “you are mature enough to go out on your own and immature enough to learn from others.” Take trips that introduce you to new cultures and open your mind to new ways of thinking. In addition to gaining confidence and social skills, you’ll make memories that will last the rest of your life.

4. Pursue passion, not money.

At this stage, you likely do not have a spouse, kids, and a mortgage to take care of. Use this freedom to follow your heart rather than a big paycheck. Agarwal referenced a Steve Jobs’ quote: “If you don’t love something, you’re not going to go the extra mile, work the extra weekend, challenge the status quo as much.”

5. Figure out who you really are.

Use this period in your life to figure out what truly drives you, what scares you, what your strengths and weaknesses are, and who truly cares about you. Understanding who you are and what you’d like to achieve in life will give you peace of mind and set you up for success.

6. Remember that a larger world exists beyond your doorstep.

As you become more successful, give back to society’s less fortunate. Whether it’s by volunteering or donating to charity, plenty of evidence shows that those who pay it forward lead much happier lives than those who don’t.

Other Quora users weighed in as well, saying you should…

7. Learn to ignore the voice that tells you to give up.

Fight the voice in your head urging you take the easy route. If you don’t learn to ignore it, that same voice will plague you throughout your life, whether you’re trying to be healthier or gunning for a promotion. If you can overcome it, “you can push yourself to heights never imagined, and it will help you during hard times.” — Sang Young Noh

8. Start saving.

Even if you’re paying off student loans, you should start a habit of setting aside a portion of every paycheck in an emergency fund. Set a goal of having enough money to cover at least six months of expenses, in case of an injury or job loss. Make sure to also take advantage of a retirement plan offered by your employer, because you’ll appreciate the accrued interest years from now. — Drew Eckhardt

9. Take care of your body.

You’re in the prime of your life. Now’s the time to establish healthy exercise and eating habits, because it won’t be as easy to change once you grow older. And take good care of your skin to avoid the onset of wrinkles. — Mo Seetubtim

10. Get as much education as possible, be it in the classroom or not.

If you want to get a graduate degree, go for it. But even if you don’t spend any additional time in the classroom, read as much as possible, about as many things as possible. Learn a new language; get some writing published. You’ll never have as much free time and energy as you do now, so gain as much knowledge as you can. — Bill Welsh

11. Accept your mistakes and learn from them.

As you establish yourself in the world, you’re going to make mistakes in all aspects of your life. Don’t react too emotionally to any of them, and make sure that you learn how to avoid repeating them. “If you understand this, it will make you patient with other people who make mistakes, and you will learn forgiveness. It’s a very short hop from there to kindness, the greatest virtue a human being can have.” — Bill Welsh