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Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I feel inferior when my boss asked me to do my masters in economics faculty. With my unqualified result to pursue master in full research mode of study, I think I won't be able to make it. But then my boss said just go and ask for the courtesy of the Dean to allow me to do master, provided I do it under the same project and choose her as co-supervisor then I will be fine. She will support me at the back. Tapi I got another problem, I takut nak jumpa dean. :(( I never have any experience dealing and communication with Dean, lecturers before this, I mean on this kind of matter. Even I was having problem to call them prof/dr at the beginning because I used to call my lecturers with their name. I never know if they are adjunct prof, prof, or just ordinary lecturer since they always tell the students to call them by names only.

I'm still in the dilemma since my interest is in development economics. I really wanna study it but if I have no choice I will have to study this competition issues.

The pressure of insecure job keeps on popping out in my mind, I think my mind doesn't stop working. I even got headache this evening, usually its because I didn't eat but this evening I ate mee goreng and the headache doesn't goes off. Kepala berdenyut2 nak reply email rejection from the company. Haish.. I need more perseverance to handle this.

In the morning, not much that I do. I just edit the letter and print it out and scan it back because I want it to have letterhead. That's for the invitation to the seminar. I called the hotel to book and confirm the booking, I called the hospitals to ask them for update, reply email for purchase equipment and etc. Then in afternoon I went to PPUm to pass the questionnaires survey to the doctors and management there. hope we can get as many as we can from there.

Then when I was in PPUM, I got email from UNSW. That's for my masters degree in Banking. It is being accepted! I got the offer letter already. Right now when I feel so pressured, I just hope I can fly back to Australia and enjoy my study there. This time I promise myself I will do much much much better than my degree, and I will work and publish papers before coming back to Malaysia. I'm targeting to work there first before coming back for good.

I just hope mara will grant me the loan or scholarship or whatever. I desperately in need of that. Allahu musta'an.