Masters..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

I was so tired yesterday because I stayed back at the school for the talk of Dr Tariq al Suwaidan. I didn't know or never heard of him before. I discovered about the public lecture when I scrolled down Dr. Maszlee's fb, and the talk happened to be in my faculty. It has been long time ago since my last public lecture that I attended, so I think this is one of the way to gain something beneficial and revive my iman.

The talk supposed to start at 8 pm, but it delayed and started ard 8.45pm. I was so exhausted but still managed to write something and listen to it. But after 1 hour I couldn't stand it anymore since I feel like sleeping in there, so I quickly packed my notebook and stuffs, and headed to the car and back home afterthat.

So today I was late for work because I actually overslept because of my prolong tiredness I guess. That's not good but I don't have much choice. I tried to balance between health and work but still I'm not successful in it. I arrived at faculty around 9 am, and quickly do some admin work: manage to call hotel, email hotel to inquire about wifi for participants, send the forms to office for the dean to sign, and also print some interview questions that have been prepared by my colleague, for us to bring it to the meeting with Department of Statistics.

Lots of thing that I've learned today, especially on how the discrepancy in statistics happened. Indeed as a researcher, we need some clarifications from statisticians. Sometimes the  terms and classification used by economists and statisticians are different and that makes the figure to differ. The statisticians even told us how their challenging work of getting the exact data from the companies, which industries are so reluctant to give data and so on.


The meeting ends around 12.45 since today is Friday so the muslims have to go for friday prayer. Me and K.fara arrived at faculty ard 1.30 and get some drinks at the cafe first because it is a very very hot day. I feel like dehydrated sometimes. Back in office, I was tired and planned to go home early because not much I could do in the office, plus my boss was absent today. And I think today is my first day of getting home early in this month.

I was supposed to go home at 2pm, but then my 'roomate' Thina seek for my help regarding the printer. She needs to print out letters for the companies to request for interview, but then the printer is not working even after changing to the new toner cartridge. I tried to search any function for cleaning the toner but couldn't find it. I then google and read anything related, and I actually search how to change toner for the printer and put the exact model number of the printer.

Just a few seconds and our problem is solved. Because Thina just replaced the toner without removing the strip that cover the ink from leakage inside the cartridge. OMG I was like, Thina this is just small problem. But nevermind, I really glad that I could help her because I know she is really2 helpful for my research. And she's also kind-hearted. She has submitted her first draft for phd. I hope I could be someone like her in the future.

Back at home, I really enjoyed my day off from working. I have set my mind of not working on Friday night. After 5 days of working hard I guess I deserve the rest. After dinner, I have a conversation with my brother in law in regards to my work. And the conversation goes on and on. I did asked him anything that I am not clear enough about the procedure, and is the research and masters are feasible enough for me to do it.

He then said, if you're working for the same project, it is good because it will be easier for you to ask the SV. And he then asked me, how about the data can you get it? And I said yes, because the date will be collected from the statistics department and it will be paid using the grant fund.

He said then you have no problem anymore. You should do it.

After a quite nice and long talk, I am quite confident now to embark my masters journey. I hope I will not exceed 2 years for my masters. Then I could pursue my PhD. Insya Allah.

Earlier tonight, I text my colleague asking whether she's good now because she is MC today and got some medical problem. I told her I am demotivated to work because of uncertainty in getting paid. She then said 'tu lah ore suh kijo hok confirm xsei'.

I think she didn't understand my situation. Its hard to transition from one boss to another. If I stayed in that faculty and work for another boss, my current boss will still rely on me to do the admin work. So its either I quit or I stayed with the current one. If that happen I will not stay mentally healthy because the pressure from different bosses would be enormous, which I dont think I can handle it. The medical tourism project is good but I won't have chance to do papers and thing except the normal RA work.

I know she has lots of experience, she did advice me that 'dale dunia ni xleh kiro minat sajo". Because previously I told her that i am not interested in the medical tourism project. My interest is in economics, to be specific in development economics. I know we shouldn't only concern about our interest, but my previous experience, I did something that I don't have much interest in it, it ended up my result was bad. I'm not blaming it 100% but I want to do something that I am deeply interested and have passion in it. Maybe that is something she doesn't get from me.

I know she gave me advice, but the way she spoke about it sounds very negative. I shouldn't take it.

I need to have target and aim high. I should finish my PhD before reaching 30 years old. Yes, I will. With Allah's will.

What I need to prepare over the weekend: complete my research paper, and prepare research proposal for the application of masters of economics. may Allah eases my way amin..